It's been a long time since I've sat down and written something (or even thought about how I'm feeling in a non-fleeting manner). I could blame the excessive number of commitments I have, or my inability to see that I need time for myself, or my natural attraction to programs that involve immersing myself, meeting new friends and heavy time commitments - but the truth is, I might just have liked being surrounded by people who are full of energy and happiness and are so willing to give up time and energy for something that they love.

And now I'm feeling the consequences.

They say you have your ups and downs, but you really feel the toll when you realise that you don't feel happy being with friends, but sitting in a room for hours on end trying to catch up on work doesn't make you feel satisfied either. I've had the most amazing time the last three weeks - there's been so many highs and lows, so many new skills that have been learn and many more that have been passed on and so many memories that I've made and will cherish forever.

I'll start with Yellow Shirts.

Lochlantis - the Double Squad that still exists after O-week.

Yellow Shirts (and O-week) was a truly life-changing experience - everything from staying in an unfurnished 2 bedroom apartment with 17 other people (this made it a massive slumber party which was amazing), to learning how to make fairy floss and snow cones, to talking to first years and hopefully making someone's day - it's the most amazing thing I've done so far and I've never cried so much in a week (good and bad tears). I'll remember all the spontaneous moments where we would dance and sing to our hearts content, all our banter and jokes and all the precious moments where we would talk about how we felt and anything that was on our minds and how it all brought us closer together. In a short 5 months, we became such close friends and these friendships are ones that I'll carry with me forever (or at least I want to).

Alantis. The best squad I could've ever asked for.

But I'll also remember all the not-so-good times - the ones that made me cry and the times I was tired and frustrated - but I'm so grateful that we didn't experience any major issues or major conflict as a squad/double squad. There were times during the week where I felt like I wasn't making a difference or connecting with any first years, and there were times where I just wanted to step away from responsibility even though I'd willingly signed up for it because I wanted the best for my double squad. I came crashing down on the second and third day, before things really turned around on the last two days (and subsequently I cried a lot on the last day too) but even though it was unfortunate about what happened early on in the week, it only made O-week more interesting and a more fulfilling experience to learn from. I had another issue, that wasn't related to my squad - but I managed to sort it out after O-week and this has only helped me grow as a person, even though I notice that I'm not quite myself when making decisions.


Yellow Shirts is something that will stay dear to my heart and it's something I definitely want to return to one day - and I'm so glad I made the effort to meet lots of other people even though I was so tired and lacking in social energy as early on as mid January because I just can't get away from them (in a good sense).

Ready to tackle O-week! | Photo: David Ho Photography

Onto the next thing - BSOC Camp (as a leader this time round).

I didn't really know what to expect, but I just hoped that it would be a good experience. We started prepping right after O-week on the Sunday, so I literally just could not get away from uni. We had some super cute group t-shirts which my camp group eventually appreciated - this was a relief since we spent almost five hours on them - and our camp group actually ended up bonding really well and are quite good friends too. It's so amazing being able to facilitate the bonding process and see people grow to be a part of a team, even if it's only over three days. I'm really looking forward to catching up with them and seeing where they go in uni - one's already joined Volunteer Army Platoons and quite a few of them are applying for subcommittees so I'm pretty excited!

So lucky to have had Jo (left) and Michael (middle) as my trio for my camp leader experience - I learnt so much from them and also had a pretty amazing time. | Photo: Selective Photography

The cutest camp group ever - the Magenta Meerkats. Also the winners. | Photo: Selective Photography

Lastly the third thing that has been taking up all my time, being a Volunteer Army Platoon Leader.

To be honest, I kind of applied on a whim. I wrote my application on my phone, sitting at a bus stop, and while I knew I would love to get this role, I wasn't desperate for it. And although this meant that I threw myself into one crazy thing after another, this one was really eye-opening and I can't see uni interviews the same way anymore - and the thing is I want to do it again. We were all thrown in the deep end in terms of the recruitment process and we had really strict deadlines to stick to, which made it even harder but brought us closer as a team. I've learnt a lot about dealing with conflict and making the best of what you have in this role, and I hope to grow as a leader as well. I'm also really lucky to have a co-leader who balances me out quite well - he can make decisions (I can't), he will stick to something and isn't easily swayed (I'm not) and he's super chill (and I'm the one always on the ball). It should be good though - there are moments when I have doubts about the people we chose but I trust Michael's judgement (and my own) and I really hope they gain what they hope to gain from it.

Michael and I are ready to take on anything. Bring on VA Platoons Sem 1 2016!

Like I said earlier, I've had the most amazing (and hectic time) the last three weeks, but now I really need to spend some time looking after myself and recovering. And what's better than giving yourself some time to do the things you enjoy again, just because you feel like it?

With love, Sarah x