Rambling Onwards

It's been a long time since I've sat down and written something (or even thought about how I'm feeling in a non-fleeting manner). I could blame the excessive number of commitments I have, or my inability to see that I need time for myself, or my natural attraction to programs that involve immersing myself, meeting new friends and heavy time commitments - but the truth is, I might just have liked being surrounded by people who are full of energy and happiness and are so willing to give up time and energy for something that they love.

And now I'm feeling the consequences.

They say you have your ups and downs, but you really feel the toll when you realise that you don't feel happy being with friends, but sitting in a room for hours on end trying to catch up on work doesn't make you feel satisfied either. I've had the most amazing time the last three weeks - there's been so many highs and lows, so many new skills that have been learn and many more that have been passed on and so many memories that I've made and will cherish forever.

I'll start with Yellow Shirts.

Lochlantis - the Double Squad that still exists after O-week.

Yellow Shirts (and O-week) was a truly life-changing experience - everything from staying in an unfurnished 2 bedroom apartment with 17 other people (this made it a massive slumber party which was amazing), to learning how to make fairy floss and snow cones, to talking to first years and hopefully making someone's day - it's the most amazing thing I've done so far and I've never cried so much in a week (good and bad tears). I'll remember all the spontaneous moments where we would dance and sing to our hearts content, all our banter and jokes and all the precious moments where we would talk about how we felt and anything that was on our minds and how it all brought us closer together. In a short 5 months, we became such close friends and these friendships are ones that I'll carry with me forever (or at least I want to).

Alantis. The best squad I could've ever asked for.

But I'll also remember all the not-so-good times - the ones that made me cry and the times I was tired and frustrated - but I'm so grateful that we didn't experience any major issues or major conflict as a squad/double squad. There were times during the week where I felt like I wasn't making a difference or connecting with any first years, and there were times where I just wanted to step away from responsibility even though I'd willingly signed up for it because I wanted the best for my double squad. I came crashing down on the second and third day, before things really turned around on the last two days (and subsequently I cried a lot on the last day too) but even though it was unfortunate about what happened early on in the week, it only made O-week more interesting and a more fulfilling experience to learn from. I had another issue, that wasn't related to my squad - but I managed to sort it out after O-week and this has only helped me grow as a person, even though I notice that I'm not quite myself when making decisions.


Yellow Shirts is something that will stay dear to my heart and it's something I definitely want to return to one day - and I'm so glad I made the effort to meet lots of other people even though I was so tired and lacking in social energy as early on as mid January because I just can't get away from them (in a good sense).

Ready to tackle O-week! | Photo: David Ho Photography

Onto the next thing - BSOC Camp (as a leader this time round).

I didn't really know what to expect, but I just hoped that it would be a good experience. We started prepping right after O-week on the Sunday, so I literally just could not get away from uni. We had some super cute group t-shirts which my camp group eventually appreciated - this was a relief since we spent almost five hours on them - and our camp group actually ended up bonding really well and are quite good friends too. It's so amazing being able to facilitate the bonding process and see people grow to be a part of a team, even if it's only over three days. I'm really looking forward to catching up with them and seeing where they go in uni - one's already joined Volunteer Army Platoons and quite a few of them are applying for subcommittees so I'm pretty excited!

So lucky to have had Jo (left) and Michael (middle) as my trio for my camp leader experience - I learnt so much from them and also had a pretty amazing time. | Photo: Selective Photography

The cutest camp group ever - the Magenta Meerkats. Also the winners. | Photo: Selective Photography

Lastly the third thing that has been taking up all my time, being a Volunteer Army Platoon Leader.

To be honest, I kind of applied on a whim. I wrote my application on my phone, sitting at a bus stop, and while I knew I would love to get this role, I wasn't desperate for it. And although this meant that I threw myself into one crazy thing after another, this one was really eye-opening and I can't see uni interviews the same way anymore - and the thing is I want to do it again. We were all thrown in the deep end in terms of the recruitment process and we had really strict deadlines to stick to, which made it even harder but brought us closer as a team. I've learnt a lot about dealing with conflict and making the best of what you have in this role, and I hope to grow as a leader as well. I'm also really lucky to have a co-leader who balances me out quite well - he can make decisions (I can't), he will stick to something and isn't easily swayed (I'm not) and he's super chill (and I'm the one always on the ball). It should be good though - there are moments when I have doubts about the people we chose but I trust Michael's judgement (and my own) and I really hope they gain what they hope to gain from it.

Michael and I are ready to take on anything. Bring on VA Platoons Sem 1 2016!

Like I said earlier, I've had the most amazing (and hectic time) the last three weeks, but now I really need to spend some time looking after myself and recovering. And what's better than giving yourself some time to do the things you enjoy again, just because you feel like it?

With love, Sarah x

It's the Year of the Monkey!

Two nights ago, I paid the Lunar Markets at Pyrmont Bay Park a visit with my Yellow Shirts double squad, Lochlantis. It's a bit far from the city, since you have to walk through Darling Harbour and further along to Pyrmont, but the trek was worth it. To be fair, we were driven to Darling Harbour, but hey you could still say it was still a trek from uni.
For anyone who is unfamiliar with the Yellow Shirts program structure, we have squads of about 9 with a leader, and then two squads becomes a double squads. Each squad has a name and each double squad's name is a combination of the two. My squad happens to be Atlantis, and the other squad is Lochness Monsters... which becomes Lochlantis. It still astounds me how quickly people can become friends in programs like Yellow Shirts and Revue... But that's for another time.

It was really hard to choose something to eat - it was hard to work out what I wanted to eat. After checking out all the stalls, I settled on Ramen Battered Chicken Burger with Miso flavoured popcorn ($14) from Everybody Loves Ramen.

Ramen Battered Chicken Burger with Miso flavoured popcorn (underneath the burger) from Everybody Loves Ramen.

It looks pretty funky with the pink glaze, but it tasted AMAZING. Despite having sweet, seaweed, fried chicken and curry, it somehow all worked and tasted really good. At first I was hesitant, since I didn't want to use my hands to eat something (and I got worried that it would get messy), but I have absolutely no regrets with that one.

The other thing that caught my eye were the Hong Kong Fish Balls, Iceberg Lettuce and Curry Gravy ($6) from The Star's Fat Noodle. This was much worth the price and it was delicious in every way (as expected). The only thing that disappointed me was that I didn't take a photo. Fat Noodle also had really long lines - and I was extremely lucky that one of my friends just happened to be at the front so I got him to order for me.

Someone ordered a Yakisoba Bun ($6.50 I think!) from Kiyamachi Tei and it was a decently sized meal for what they paid. I was very close to ordering Yakisoba before I thought that I should try the Ramen Battered Chicken Burger because it looked really cool.

Yakisoba Bun from Kiyamachi Tei. It tasted good.

For dessert, we were going to go to Black Star Pastry x N2 Extreme Gelato but generally it's expensive and there's not much to it. The Sago Pudding from Mini Pancakes caught my eye, but they looked like they had caramelised fruit in it and I wasn't too keen on it. But then we spotted Mango Sago Pudding ($4) from The Century at The Star... and let's say everyone there was converted to Mango Sago Pudding lovers.
There were a few other things that interested me like Waffles on a stick (there's a huge Lochlantis in joke about waffles), Chips on a stick and Hoy Pinoy's skewers - the last two are amazing, but I already tried them at the Night Noodle Markets last year so I didn't see the point.

We also got to try the Mini Pancakes because they were handing out samples, and they were nice. I can't remember how much they were exactly, but the price would've been worth it if I wasn't so full already.

A super cute display!

There was such a lovely vibe and I had good company, and since we went on a Tuesday night the lines weren't too long either. We also happened to go at the same time as Lily May Mac so some of us got super excited.

I love the rainbow coloured lights! It made everything so much nicer.

Five members of Lochlantis + Alex our squad leader.

Total Bill: $24
= $14 (Burger) + $6 (Fish Balls) + $4 (Mango Sago Pudding)

Food: 3/5
Price: $$
Service: 3/5
Ambience: 3/5

Details and Links:
During 4th to 14th February 2016.
Website: www.sydney.lunarmarkets.com.au
Location: Pyrmont Bay Park, Pyrmont


Happy Lunar New Year friends - gong hei fat choy! May you get lots of red pockets.

With love, Sarah x

January has come and gone, and the New Year and the time for new year resolutions has also come and gone. Most people will be doing their best to keep to their New Year's Resolutions, but personally I think it's best to have goals that you can start achieving at any time of the year because, let's be real, how many of us actually stick to all of our resolutions if they're made on a whim?

I was asked in late November/December at my internship what my New Years resolution was and all I could come up with was 'Be more active'. But it wasn't something that wasn't important to me before hand, nor is it something that I've managed to fully stick to (this heat is pretty demotivating). But since then I've worked out more or less what I want to do this year - and the person I want to become.

Originally I took this for my internship with RAW, but hey who says I can't use it here and give credits?

It's an interesting feeling going through your Facebook timeline from 2009 (Year 7, actual 12vie days) and realising how immature you were. That might sound obvious, but all I seemed to complain about was getting homework, being unable to do something called 'euler' for school and struggling to finish my assignments.

I've gone through and removed a lot from my timeline and it's just made me realised how much I've grown up and changed over the last seven years. It's funny to me to go through all those posts and status, but not so great when other people find them, especially since my Yellow Shirts Double Squad is so good at bumping posts and roasting people. It's also interesting since the way I used to use status updates is like Twitter today. Today it feels odd to be writing statuses about your life - Facebook is kept for sharing photos and sharing the big moments in your life. It makes sense that platforms like Snapchat and Twitter have popped up to fill that void.

But back to the point.

As one of my squad members for Yellow Shirts said:


And that's when I realised I'm driven by the same thing.

No not literally. | Photo by James Benning.

It's why I give so much time and energy to programs like Revue and Ruse Musical and hopefully Yellow Shirts and why I love being able to help younger students, even if it's just giving advice. Or friends too. And last year was the year that I needed to find my feet again, and although I'm disappointed that I don't get to be a Peer Mentor this year, I now know I wasn't ready when I did my interview. Same with Law Revue Producer. But at least I'll get help some first years out at BSOC Camp as a leader, and I can crash plenty of peer mentoring sessions. And most of the time you're actually quite unaware of how much you're helping someone.

But for now, I hope to become a little less serious all the time (it's working I think), a little more self-aware and better at listening. Hopefully I'll get better at bantering too, and I'll do things that I'm proud to look back on and realise how much they shaped me as a person. And although this sounds narcissistic, I hope I become a good role model too.

This was taken at the Meriton Apartments on Kent St when I stayed there a few weeks ago. It was a good night, and a really good experience with great people.

I'm so lucky to have had so many opportunities to grow as a person, to experience new things and to meet all these wonderful and diverse people, and I want to thank them all so much. But I know it's not possible. All I can do is pay it forward, and I hope you do too.

Feel free to drop me a question/comment if you need help with anything friends!

With love, Sarah x

PS: Andrew here's your shout out. ^_^

Did you ever groan and cringe when you were younger when your parents told you to stand somewhere so they could take a photo? Did you reluctantly walk over and vaguely smile to make them happy? Or did you just refuse?

I used to cringe and say no and make a fuss. Today, I still cringe inside but I oblige (most of the time). I still wonder why my parents don't understand the value of candid shots though.

Many years ago, when I was still in primary school, a family friend gave my sister and I each a photo album. At the time I didn't want it - I didn't know what to do with it and I didn't want it taking up shelf space in my room. When I was young, my parents took lots of photos and put them into albums - they're all somewhere in the house, numbered from 1 to something like 10. But as I got older, my parents became busier with work and driving my sister and I around to go to school, to dance classes, to swimming classes etc. they just didn't have the time or energy to do so and as a result there's a gap in physically printed photos placed (that alliteration) in albums for a few years... until now.

The beginning of the 2015 print out and photo album compiling. This is the photo album that I was given and I filled it up pretty quickly actually.

In my high school years, especially the last few with our last everything and graduation and formal, I tried to take more photos because I felt a need to capture moments so I could look back and remember, even if it's to remember my 12vie self and how immature I looked (but hey, we all go through puberty and make it to the other side). It's not really making up for all those lost years where you refused to let your parents take photos of you and they gave up, but it's a start.

The final week of high school. Yes there were a lot of photos taken.

Ideas can be dangerous things.

It's also not the first time someone has said that, or used that phrase to frame a religion, a culture, or a race - or anything for that matter.

A bad case is being in love with an idea of someone so much that you can no longer the real thing - that sucks, because all your dreams and expectations get crushed when you realise that they are just a person. Just a person, like you, and they're not this goal of unattainable perfection which you want a part of.

When we look at people, we see them through a mirror - what we expect to see. When you look a little deeper and listen to them, you can start to see them through a window. And when you actually listen to them, you can get a clearer view through that window, but you can never completely understand them because you cannot be them.

But you can be yourself.
I find myself wondering whether I spend so much time planning things and writing them down in my diary so I have a physical record because I actually need to rather than I enjoy the process and the feeling of being prepared, like I've got it figured out.

It's probably both, actually.

But when I found myself planning instead of enjoying moments that I had set time aside for - well, I guess you could say I realised that there was something wrong. Because being there, in the moment, sometimes isn't as satisfying as having it worked out. It isn't as interesting - you're not piecing together a puzzle that is the time you have available in your life and fitting all the pieces of your life into it. The thrill comes from planning something rather than the act itself - it's hard to cherish something that's over in a few moments rather than something that is the build up.
I feel it's hard to see reality through a filter which is literally yourself, and we are full of ideas, full of thoughts and perceptions which we hold as true and as real. But there's no real way of knowing what the real thing is since we all have different ideas, right?

Because I'll be honest - I'm tired of having the same conversations over and over again with different people and I only have so much energy to give. And while a lot of people matter to me, sometimes it becomes too much if I'm literally hearing the same thing over and over even if I talking to someone new. It makes it easier yes, but does it mean much?

There's so many more ways one could choose to live life that I've never contemplated until recently and I never considered them as options. But if there's one thing I've realised it's that doing new, unexpected, unplanned things ie: being spontaneous are the most fun - and make the best stories actually. It stops life from becoming so boring, so much like a vicious cycle of constant work so you can afford to take a holiday (as a friend cynically put it yesterday) - and it's even better with the right company. And if that company is just you, then that's how it is.

With love, a-more-philosophical-than-usual-but-probably-wrong Sarah x

Image from Tumblr.