Rambling Onwards: inspiration

Deeper Reflections | Troye Sivan's #WILD

I've posted some interesting images on Twitter lately and I've also been doing a lot of thinking about how the way I see the world has changed. I said in an earlier post (Reflections on the Past Year) that a lot has changed in the past year and that I've grown up a lot, but my attitudes have also changed. It's interesting because I find that I accept some things that I thought were silly and unnecessary and I've also realised how naive some of my conclusions were in my younger years. And while I'm discussing all these things, I'm also going to pair it with a song from Troye Sivan's new EP WILD and write a paragraph ~~in the space of that song~~ in the time of several plays (I tried).

Hit play!

#1 - Wild
As I was younger, I could never understand why people would drink, get drunk, possibly drink too much, lose it and then do things that they regret. I didn't understand why people would do something to themselves. Now after hearing more about people's experiences and validating that you don't have to be smashed in order have fun (or be drunk at all), it's a normal thing that sometimes people need a few drinks to let loose and it's okay. I was out with a friend for dinner and we were talking over dinner and drinks about how we didn't expect ourselves to understand this idea as we do now, and that we never thought we would want to drink much. But things change, and people grow up, but as long as your health comes first and it's in moderation it's okay. Know your limits, friends.

Plus I genuinely enjoy my wines and certain spirits, so it's more for enjoyment than anything else most of the time.

#2 - Bite
It's good to take risks. Especially for someone who is like me and tends to be very measured in what I do - and I'm glad that with uni and meeting people from many backgrounds has exposed me to new ideas and things. I think people are very much influenced by the people who they hang around - at least this seems to be the case for me. But no matter who I am around, there are still some boundaries that I don't want to cross - but I know that my morals will hold strong.

It's good to explore new places. Do new things, experience life and make mistakes. I should do more of this, since I feel like I was quite sheltered when I was younger as well.

I've also found that Humans of New York's latest series on refugees has been very eye opening, and telling stories is a very good way of connecting the global community. This is something we shouldn't forget.

#3 - Fools
Relationships can be fleeting, even when you think they will last for a long time. I now realise that my younger self was quite naive - and the moment that I realised was when I friend told me a quote that I had told her several years ago in regards to relationships.

It was really strange, hearing these words from her almost two years after I told her because my first thought was about how silly and naive the quote is. Why? Because it's a very simplistic and hopeful way of looking about how relationships develop.

When she said it to me, I almost laughed. I believe it more now, but I guess I just have to trust in fate.

I've also realised that romantic and sexual feelings towards other people are much more complex than I originally realised, and although two people may love each other, there are many other reasons as to why they aren't together rather than just timing or distance, which now seem like very simplistic conclusions. There's also a lot more grey areas that I didn't know about.

I also adore this song - I love how it starts as a piano/voice piece before it builds into a much thicker texture that changes the dynamic of the song completely. It's beautiful.

#4 - Ease
I've always acknowledged the fact that one should look after all aspects of their health and take time to relax, wind down, and spend time with those who are important. There are people I miss spending time with after high school, but it's really important to make that effort just to catch up and talk about life properly. Sometimes though, you have to realise you can't see everyone at the same time and expect that same level of conversation, and I'm finding that it's taking a massive toll on me because I've given up a lot of me-time to keep up with studies, work, internship and my social life. And as much as I love how things are (jokes, stress), I know that I should be putting aside more time for myself.

Thank you to my girls for this - and I love how the theme was 'relaxation'! You guys know me too well.

This song is another favourite of mine - Troye Sivan himself said that the song was about missing home. And I miss home. But home for me is no longer just my physical home with family, but also with the people who I consider my second family because I'm at that level with them.

#5 - The Quiet
There's a lot in the world that we don't know about, a lot that we don't hear about, especially if a entity doesn't want that knowledge to be very well known. For example, I was quite surprised when I realised how many brands were under Nestle and how unrelated to food some of them were, like L'oreal and their high end perfumes from Ralph Lauren and YSL for example.

It didn't help that Mondelez International is also so huge.

It makes me wonder though - if we were to boycott a store, would be quite difficult logistics-wise? Let me know in the comments below.

Also one more thing for you to think about it if you missed my twitter post:

Just think about it. This is (probably) the future.

#6 - DKLA
I've always known that it's important to have a very strong, positive relationship with yourself, but it's also important to have close friends you can rely on. This is still just as important to me, and I'm forever thankful to have them in my life. But I'm also thankful that I've developed a better relationship with myself because it's helped with a lot of my problems and I've become more accepting of certain parts of myself. It's still important to keep being the best person you can be, but it's important to know when it's healthy and when it's not.

Finally just a note on Troye Sivan's album WILD - it's literally been my soundtrack for the last few weeks and I love it, so if you read this post without listening to it... ~~shame on you you are no longer my friend~~ go listen to it now!

Also sorry with writing so many reflection posts - I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and uni and studies have basically taken over so it's been difficult to do much else. There are some other things planned for the holidays so get excited!

With love, Sarah x

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, by Sarah W.

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Perceptions, Role Models and Questions

It's a strange feeling to be told that you've made an impact and that you're well known in a place of the past. On one hand, you feel honoured and flattered that people remember you and that the work you put into something gave you a good reputation, but on the other hand, there's a sense of confusion and disbelief because you can't quite fathom how it's possible or how you unintentionally made an impact on someone else. In the end, you still feel quite ordinary and you were just doing something for yourself rather than for the attention it might have generated.

It brings us back to the age old question of "What does [someone] think of me? How do they see me?" which can never be answered truthfully as you can never experience life through someone else's perspective - only the illusion of it through their words and actions. But we're humans, and curiosity always kills the cat.

The other day I went to visit my high school by dropping my sister off and briefly crashed their musical rehearsal, and that night my sister tells me that a lot of people started calling her "Sarah" because I was her sister and I had "a reputation or something". I really didn't expect this to happen and it puzzles me that the Year 9s remember me, because I only knew a few through peer support. If anyone's experienced something similar and felt the same way (or not!) let me know in the comments below.

But it goes to show that as an older grade and hence role models in a school environment, the juniors really do look up to you - just like how we used to look up to the seniors and know their names and they generally wouldn't remember us (although I've been proved wrong by someone I reconnected with at uni).

Role models are important. They help you shape your goals and your values, and honestly they're the reasons I did what I did in high school - and now in uni. It's so easy to get lost when you don't have anyone to look up to, no one to aspire to be like.

We are role models whether we like it or not, and we can never truly understand how much influence we have over someone's actions and values. Be good people, friends, because people may look up to you whether you know it or not.

With love, Sarah x

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, by Sarah W.

inspiration