As I head into some crazy weeks ahead with midsem exams, a lot of commitments and declining health (unfortunately I'm sick and it's not getting better), I just wanted to talk about relationships. And one type of relationship in particular - friendship.
I stumbled across a really interesting concept in an article which talked about the Limits of Friendship and Dunbar number when I was working on an assignment on Social Networking Sites and the Friendship Assemblage last year - and as soon as I read it I knew I wanted to write something about it but I just never got around to it.
Now I'm going to throw a few numbers out there, so just bear with me.
The Dunbar number is actually a series of numbers to understand how we hold onto and maintain friendships:
I've hit the point (once again) where I keep running into acquaintances and I cannot remember who they are or where I've met them and it's bizarre when they know exactly who I am and how they met me - it actually makes me feel terrible because I don't know who they are. One time a friend told me he wanted to go from 800 to 1000 Facebook friends by the end of the year and I was very confused - having 1000 Facebook friends isn't necessarily a good thing.
With social media it's so much easier to keep in touch with people that you cross paths with that would normally disappear - but how many of your Facebook friends do you consider as your actual friends? How many of them do you actually talk to, in real life or online?
I'm struggling to keep up with all my friends and different groups, and to be honest - it's exhausting. I want to spend time with them all but at the same time, sometimes it's too much for me and I really need time to myself. Sometimes this means letting go of other commitments, sometimes it means letting go of friendships, or a deeper connection to someone.
My friendships have changed a lot over the last few months, and I would like to think that's a good thing - although it inevitably means that the nature of other friendships is changing and evolving, like it always would. The truth is, you'll never fully let go of people once you've become so close to them for a period of time. They stay a part of you, and the memories you share will always be yours.
I was strangely sad about losing a train buddy and I was scared I would lose one of the most unlikely friends I've made ever - but as another good mate of mine said, I shouldn't be sad, I should be happy that I got to know them and spend some time with them. And it makes me glad that he still cares about me (because he doesn't care about many people) even though we're so many years apart and I barely even see him on a weekly basis now. He wants to join the army - I'm not sure how to feel about it, but he has my support.
I'll miss seeing him around though, much like all the friends I make at work who disappear a few months later to go travelling again. Maybe more.
I'm forever grateful for the close friends I made in high school - they still remain my close friends today and I know they've always got my back, even though our lives are all heading in such different directions. But I'm also really grateful for the three people that I've suddenly become close to over the last few weeks - they've been really great supports for helping me through difficult times and they've all constantly believed in me - and also heaps of fun to be around and I look forward to more fun times with them too. :)
With love, Sarah x
Images from Tumblr.
I stumbled across a really interesting concept in an article which talked about the Limits of Friendship and Dunbar number when I was working on an assignment on Social Networking Sites and the Friendship Assemblage last year - and as soon as I read it I knew I wanted to write something about it but I just never got around to it.
Now I'm going to throw a few numbers out there, so just bear with me.
The Dunbar number is actually a series of numbers to understand how we hold onto and maintain friendships:
- Absolute maximum of 1500 people who you can put a name to a face
- Up to 500 acquaintances
- 150 casual friends who you'd invite to a party
- 50 close friends who you'd see often but not consider them to be true intimates
- Your circle of 15 who are your friends you turn to for sympathy when you need it and the ones you can confide in
- And 5 intimate friends, your close support group, best friends, and often family.
With social media it's so much easier to keep in touch with people that you cross paths with that would normally disappear - but how many of your Facebook friends do you consider as your actual friends? How many of them do you actually talk to, in real life or online?
I was strangely sad about losing a train buddy and I was scared I would lose one of the most unlikely friends I've made ever - but as another good mate of mine said, I shouldn't be sad, I should be happy that I got to know them and spend some time with them. And it makes me glad that he still cares about me (because he doesn't care about many people) even though we're so many years apart and I barely even see him on a weekly basis now. He wants to join the army - I'm not sure how to feel about it, but he has my support.
I'll miss seeing him around though, much like all the friends I make at work who disappear a few months later to go travelling again. Maybe more.
With love, Sarah x
Images from Tumblr.
