I am an artist.

And like every other artist, you have days where your creativity blossoms, everything flows and you can't keep up with yourself. But then you also have days where it becomes a slog to get through things and - if you're not dedicated or interested enough - you'll let it go.

I said this in my last post but I'll say it again - I'm disappointed that I let so many creative things in my life go. Even blogging almost became a chore - and I've actually taken down a few blog posts because I'm not proud of them.

Art is something that you create, and after you create it you should be proud of what you created. I'm not the best, and I don't claim to be, but it's something where you're always trying to push boundaries and limits and trying to become better. But art is first and foremost something you create for yourself to express some part of you deep down inside that is yearning to be free, so to be able to be doing something that you love so much and is so therapeutic for your soul as a career - well it's something I can only dream of.

That being said, I don't think I'll ever pursue a creative outlet as a career because I don't think I could ever choose one art form. It's no secret that I love dance, but I don't have the dedication (or courage) to drop everything else and devote myself to it - I just hope that, when I look back at this post in the future, I'll still be dancing, choreographing and expressing my emotions through music and movement, because there are still so many things that I'm incapable of saying with words.

I have so much respect for my photographer friends (yes you, Michelle and Manjekah) and I love reading about their love for photography and how they've had struggles to hold onto it and keep doing it because they love it. (You can read their posts here and here.) They inspire me to remember that I shouldn't give up on all these side projects and things that I create to express myself, even though it's not always easy for me to share it with people.

I also wish it was a bit easier to capture the art I create in its true glory, but the things I create tend to be things to be experienced rather than seen. But I want to share something with you that captures the essence of how it works at the moment.

I adore this song - it's so calming and takes me back to some really beautiful places. I first heard it when I was taking a one-off contemporary dance class with Sarah Boulter at the Sydney Dance Company and we did a beautiful dance to this piece. It makes me sad that I don't have a space to explore the nuances of the song through movement anymore, and I haven't found a new space yet. It also disappoints me that I've let my body go - I know it's not as strong or flexible as it used to be, and although I've still got the basics there it's much weaker. Nothing really quite does it for me like dance does - I tried Pilates but I lost motivation and got bored - working up a sweat doesn't bother me but I have to have fun in the process - and unfortunately it got to a stage where I wasn't having fun and it became a chore.

I picked up a guitar today for the first time in almost two years as well - I'm on my way to learning how to play the opening riff in Like Real People Do which really excites me. I hope I'll continue with it and maybe be able to play it smoothly very soon.

I also played piano for the first time in many many months, maybe almost a year. Let's say I tried to capture Troye Sivan's Fools but playing piano covers of any kind of song bores me very easily because they become repetitive and I don't know how to make them more difficult.  

I started reading a book yesterday too.

It's been an artsy day. I'll leave you with a very beautiful story as told by two amazing dancers (Jessica and Casey) and Travis Wall from SYTYCD Season 11.

With love, Sarah x