I can finally be a potato.

Not officially 21 yet, but just wanna say #madeit, thank you and that I love everyone who helped me get here. | Photo: Selective Photography

Hello friends! Or at least those who still read these. I must apologise for being awfully bad at updating my blog for the last couple of months, but at the same time I haven't really felt the urge (or had the time to) write about what's been going on, how I feel etc. I've grown a lot in the last six months and my life feels like it's been a crazy, hectic rollercoaster - but I don't know how I'm going to handle not living a hectic lifestyle (or if it's even possible for me to not be an absolute potato and not be busy all the time).

Since I last posted something here I've been on a road trip to South Australia via Broken Hill, Flinders Rangers, Port Augusta, Barossa Valley, Adelaide and Melbourne (I spent most of the time in a car, hence not a lot of photos and not that much to say), travelled to Melbourne with my boyfriend, ran a lot of events and produced a show, and planned an exciting pre-exchange adventure on the US West Coast and West Canada. I've also had to say goodbye to my current job(s) and I threw myself an early 21st birthday party, and it's only now when I'm half a week from flying to LA that I feel as though I have enough emotional energy to sit down and write about my life and how I feel.

My beautiful cast. Thank you to everyone who helped make MR17 possible and made it what it was. | Photo: Rhonda Ung & Kevin Gazali

Med Revue was a crazy, intense, rather sleep-deprived time of my life - the 10 weeks of rehearsals made me question my sanity but in the end, having the most amazing, caring and enthusiastic cast made all the planning, effort and sleep-deprivation & stress worthwhile. Moving out for two weeks was great - but it was followed by 3 nights of not sleeping in a bed and my best arts assignment to date... that I handed it in three days late. I'm so grateful to have had my wonderful exec team stand by my side through this whole journey since August last year - Cathy & Martin, my beloved Producers, and Linda, Sam and Adri, my Directors who managed to make me laugh. Lots. It's been so wonderful to see all our efforts become something, and to see all these people grow into more confident, happier selves is the biggest gift we could've received. But I'm ready to let go after five revues in two and a half years - and I'm so grateful that this one was my last. Maybe I'll be back in a small capacity, but this is me handing over the reins to other capable hands.

MR17 Exec. My loves and fellow crazies. When we didn't know if we would have a cast to put on a show (and I think we were relatively sober...) | Photo: Rhonda Ung/Tracey Xue/Kevin Gazali

People always ask me how I have time to do everything that I do, and honestly - I don't know. Probably sheer dedication, some intense planning and a dash of crazy. It's not all sunshine and rainbows though - I have to make a conscious effort sometimes to enjoy the moment and not constantly think about the next thing that I have to do. I'm still learning to live in the moment and share my life with those around me, but I have learnt who my friends are, and how quickly people can bond when thrown into something together - but also how quickly those bonds can dissipate if you don't put the effort (or don't have the time or energy) to keep it up. I still struggle to juggle all my commitments and friendships with time for myself since that's usually the first thing to go when I don't have enough time - but if we were all perfect human beings life would not be interesting whatsoever (although we wouldn't know any different, would we?)

Something else that I've learnt from my job as a Marketing Assistant (and also from planning my 21st) is that I'm not very good with events and remembering to do things, especially if I'm in a 'having fun' mindset. Not being able to make decisions quickly is also letting me down - and it makes organising events very time consuming. It takes time to change, and I hope one day I'll be more decisive and less forgetful - and as long as I keep trying and acknowledge my flaws I will be okay with it. Organising my pre-exchange travels has also been quite time consuming, but I feel that it's time well spent since it's good to know that all my transport and accommodation is sorted until I reach Montreal for my Fall semester of exchange at McGill University.

It feels overwhelming to know that when I leave my childhood bedroom in half a week I'll never be able to come back to it. My family is knocking down this place and rebuilding it, so if I have enough energy I'll make a farewell vlog, even if it's just for myself since I know I'll miss the room I grew up in and after I leave next Wednesday it can never been the same. It's even more overwhelming when you're catching up with friends and they say farewell - and it doesn't feel as though I'll be halfway across the world in less than a week's time, being separated by time zones and a different lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for exchange and I trust myself to adapt (since that's an important life skill heh) - but I'm also a bit scared and nervous. It doesn't feel real though - it feel as though next week I'll still be in my room, waking up to go to work, hanging out with friends and binge watching Brooklyn 99 on Netflix. People tell me it's going to be amazing and I'm going to have the best time but I also know that travelling comes with its stresses and low moments so hopefully it all works out.

I read through some of my old #traveldiary posts and I'm so grateful that I made a detailed account of my experiences because it's so nostalgic to read - and it makes me want to blog & vlog my exchange experience even more. I'm going to try and take all this free time as a chance to explore and travel - but also to reflect and grow and hopefully share some of my experiences with you guys especially since not reflecting seems to take an emotional toll on me. I'm rather curious to see how I function when I'm alone a lot too.

Where has life taken you lately?

With love, Sarah x